Post #20 - I'm Coming Out

Hey everyone, I know it's been a long time since I've actually posted anything, and for that I truly do apologize. Summer just kept getting busier and busier, what with classes, part time job, and everything else that went on during those hot months. Phew! But I'm glad to be back at UCONN. I've missed it so much.
So, there was only one point to this post, and by reading the title, and by knowing me in real life, you've probably already guessed what I'm about to say. I've been wanting to write this down for a while now, get the word out and everything, you know? I'm finding this post really easy, and yet really hard to make out. Like that makes any sense, haha. OK, here's the big news:

I'm gay.

There, I said it! That felt good. You know how you feel when a huge weight has been lifted off your shoulders, and you're finding you can breathe easier, and it's not as hard to take your next step? That's how I'm feeling right now! It's an amazing feeling, finally having come to terms with my sexuality.
So, I'm not expecting any of you to be like "Oh my God, I would have never of guessed." No, I'm expecting most of you to have at least wondered about it, guessed, or simply assumed. I never was the most masculine guy out there.
Now that I'm out, I know my life has gotten a lot harder. It's not going to be as easy for me to be accepted with the general public, and believe me, I've already met a few homophobes that have made my life difficult. Which sucks, and is something I'm going to have to accept in the coming years. Hopefully, the general population will get over it's fear of gays. We're just like the rest of you, only we play for a different team. So what if we don't like boobs, vaginas , and all that. Don't you think in this day and age, things that aren't mainstream can't become accepted? There has to be a million examples  all over the place.
I'm also going to have to learn some of the things I can't do anymore, like give blood, join the military, or get married (but that's why I have Canada, Our true north, strong and FREE, where I can be whoever I want). As for America....with liberty and justice for all...I'm starting to believe that's not true. I mean really, this isn't even a question. Do we really have equality in the US? Not to be hating, because I really like my life here in the States, but when you claim everyone is equal, can you at leat be trying to make it that way?
It's like a giant blindfold has been put over people, and they're being lead to where they think is right, but it's not. At least some people have the courage to take off their blindfolds and say "stop, this isn't right." I have to applaud those people, I really do. Having the courage so stand up for what you believe in, when a huge crows is shooting you down for who you chose to love takes a lot of guts. Hopefully, I'll be able to do that as well, and I'm looking forward to the experience (which will hopefully come in the near future). I cannot wait to raise my voice and defend this way of life that I have chosen for myself.

That's all for now, and I'm really glad I got that down. Thanks to all my friends (at least those I've told at this point) for their support. It's friends like you that have made this so much easier for me to live through this transition period of mine. I love you all for it.

dan
a new gay man


Mood: Exilierated - At this point, how couldn't I be?
Music: Glee - The first episode of season 2 aired yesterday. Duh
Location: Rainbow Center - Makes it easier for me. Everyone's so accepting here, and it beats being in my room.

Post #16 - Welcome to a brand new world

Well hello there, have I seen you before? Perhaps I have passed you while walking down the street sometime. did I say hello? Was I nice? No? how unfortunate. Perhaps we can get to know each other soon. Wouldn't that be nice.

Anyways...

So, first post of 2010!! Isn't that exciting? I haven't posted anything in a while, and like a classic blogger I feel it is necessary that I add this next sentence...

I'm sorry that I haven't written anything in a while.

Phew! glad I got that out! It seems that every blogger that hasn't written in a while has to include that sentence in his or her first post after a long break. I didn't want to be the exception...

Anyways, I'm probably boring you to tears right now. Here's a Kleenex. ha ha.

Sorry.

Anyways, you're probably wondering what my new years resolution is, since i managed to keep my last one perfectly. I'm so proud of myself for that one. So my thinking is that since I did do well on my last, this new one must be that much better. O.K. here it is: to apply myself more in school to get a 3.263 GPA this semester and to get more active by going to the gym more often. If all goes according to plan ( as it doubtlessly will. fingers crossed) I will look like a combination of me, Einstein, and this dude....

ha ha. Idk who he is but I would KILL to look like that. (Take a look at me this time next year and I will look like that...

I WISH)

Anyways, there were some more topics that I wanted to post on this post. give me a sec to try and remember what they are.

Uhhh.... sorry still in vacation mode. Ah! Christmas! ha ha. Christmas break was fun. Not amazing fun, just fun. middle kinda fun. I didn't really see anyone except for the three time all month. Three times in a month? that's kinda sad. even for me. I'm sure I can do better next time. So anyways, I got some nice stuff for Christmas. some books that I had wanted. like this one. I love Robert Jordan (The Gathering Storm (Wheel of Time))!! Then I also got some American Eagle clothing, which is like the best!! Love that store. I'm afraid I can't recall anything else that I got b/c i forgot. oops. But those were my fav. things anyways.

So I'm taking some more classes this semester, 17 credits up from 13. It should be a challenge, but I'm totally up for it. My classes include: Chem 1128Q, Math 1131Q, Engr 1166, Cse 1010 and Psyc 1100. Unless you go to UCONN you probably don't have any idea what those classes are. I'll explain:
-Chemistry
-Calculus
-Foundations of Engineering
-Computer science
-General Psychology
All in all, they will be tough, but interesting. here's to hoping I can keep up!!

So, I recently applied for a summer job at de maximus, inc where my neighbor works. de maximus is a environmental clean-up company that also does various other environmental acts. If I get the job I would be soo excited. I think it would be a great experience for me in my major. Who knows? Fingers crossed

well, that's about it. I can't think of anything else to write, so i'll catch you all up later.

dan

Mood: Relaxed - Just got back from the gym (yes!) and am in a good mood
Music: Pandora, Lady Gaga radio -Love Pandora, and love gaga. She is soo good!!
Location: Dorm room - Chris has like a million friends over.
Later: Work and meeting a friend (hopefully) - First day of work this semester at Putnum. Hope I don't forget everything!!

Post #12 - Mmmm.....Sunday

     So....Sunday. Sunday I was supposed to go to to Harvard Beginner's Ballroom competition. that ddn't work out so well. You see, I got up for seven to get ready and all. I had set my alarm for seven, to be up in time to go at eight thirty. But, when my phone alarm went off at seven (thank God), my clock alarm still said six. As far as I know, something happened and my clock set for daylight saving time. Who knows why, but I haven't changed it back yet. I probably should though....
     So anyways, I was just gtting out of the shower and was putting pants on (it was about 8, real time) when chris finally came back from his night of horror and stuff. So, Chris was all like "So, we're not going, Caroline is sick." Caroline was our driver, who was going to get us to Harvard. So, I had to call Megan, I was really sad. really, really sad. i called her, and she was cool, but I suspect she wasn't...
   Because of this, I was up two and a half hours before the cafeteria opened. Which sucked. I ended up watching Hulu until eleven oclock. I watched flash forward and it was awesome! Then I watched two other shows and went for brunch. It was funny, because t only took me three minutes to eat b/c Moe wasn't there with me (but it wasn't as fun). I had dance at noon so i didn't have anything to do until then. so, i went back to my room and watched more hulu until five to noon. Oh, and BTW, Chris was fast asleep this whole time, he went to bed as soon as he came home. I went to dance after and it was a lot of fun. after dance, I went home and working on my scedule. Its all completed btw, 17 credits, but I want to take one more for fun! At around 5, I txted moe and asked her to lunch. I know, crazy right? She texted me back and we went out for DINNER. DUH! so, moe brought mario kart Wii.

BAD IDEA!!

After dinner, I called my mother and we moe and I went for Ice cream at the co-op. We went over to Gordons after that and played wii for two hours. Then, it was almost ten oclock and i was all like "I still need to do my Chem homework. so I used moe's computer and calc and did most of it. Most. After midnight I started eating my half of the icecream (which means I technically broke the rules b/c it was Monday by then). We played more mario kart. i was playing rainbow road one singl player while moe was doing something. She came back and took the controler from me to beat the level. I was so mad.

Oops, I almost forgot. Gordon's toilet wasn't working and Moe really had to go pee. the two of them argued for five minutes (lol). i ended up having to go pee too so i was all like lets go next door and sh was like noo, thats awkward. And I was like, i'll talk. and she said sure. So we went over andI asked them....well you know. So, Moe noted that they had a hello kitty toaster and I noted that they had another mattress under the bed (lol). their bathroom was really gross.
     Later, (this is totally out of order) Gordon and I played Monkey balls and I totally lost. Badly. It was really late by then so I just stayed over. I put all the cushons on the floor and slept on them and some blankets. It was a lot more confortable than last time. but I got cold. really cold.

Well, that was it for my Sunday (and some Monday). I'll be off now, see ya!

Dan

P.S Moe wanted me to say something about a fish. But I forgot, sorry
P.P.S Oh, for some reason, I feel like this post is really really really funny, but I know that when i read it again, it won't.
Mood: Tired - Skipped bio, going to a later one
Music: Baila Baila - Best. Samba. Ever.

Post #10 - FATMA

So, let's move on to my next topic of discussion: FATMA.
FATMA is my Chem teacher. FATMA SELAMPINAR.  I don't think I can ever write her name in lowercase letters, it just doesn't work.

So, in my Chem class is Megan, she's awesome. Super cool and a lot of fun. she's in my bio and Chem lectures, labs and discussions. She works with me up at Putnam so I pretty much see her all day. don't worry, it's not as bad as it sounds.

So, FATMA, back to my topic. Well, I don't really have much to say. That's kind of sad, I was soo prepared to talk about her for three pages, guess not.

Oh, I can say that Megan and I  laugh about everything she says. This one time in class, she went on  about pizzas. Cups of cheese, sauce and dough. it was totally random and had nothing to do with what we were learning. or, maybe it did, IDK, we weren't really paying attention.

Then, she was all like "study the book. The book is your bible." We laughed so hard. We went home and took pictures of us praying to the textbook. It was soo much fun. They're on Facebook, check it out:

Isn't that so funny?! The light coming in the window was perfect. There are so many more, but this is the best one. That's my opinion there.

So. that's about it for that topic, but onto another.

Emma F. if you're reading this, I want my full poptart. Or else.

Don't worry, i'll still take you out to lunch of you don't....maybe... Ha Ha Ha *evil cackle, rubs hands together menacingly, shifting his eyes back and forth*

that's it for now,

TTFN

dan

Mood: Disgruntled - That's also my word of the day. Blame FATMA (For my mood, not my word of the day)

Location: ??? - I can't tell you that
Music: ??? - That one either, it would give my location away

Post #8 - Stabbing at the U!

Intense! So, post #7 is so last year. So much has happened since then. So, Carol and I tried downloading that thing to my computer, but it wasn't working. Carol was all like. "I want food. Like, real food. How about we go down to the U? Are you up for it?"
"Hmmmm." I said, not sure. It was cold out, 45. "Sure, fine."
"really?"
"Yea, no problem. I'm in the mood for some ice-cream. I hear its Dairy Ban ice cream."
"really?" Carol asked. "But it's cold."
I shrugged. I went to my room to grab my stuff, Chris had just finished his movie and was getting ready to walk his friends home. I put on some warm mitts and a hat and we left. We walked to the U quickly, shivering. I had to go pee. Sorry, just stating the facts.
We went into the building and I got my ice cream and Carol got her wings. I also got this gross protein shake from Odwalla. don't get it. So, we had just sat down when the fire alarm went off. It was kind of funny, no one moved. Everyone was all like WTF? and stayed put. Eventually, after we had all gotten on our warm mittins and things we left.
We walked out the building to the back. i was really curious about what had happened. Carol wanted to go home, but I said, "let's take the long way, and walk around the front of the building." carol agreed and we walked around, taking the long way towards the front (we exited around the back) and the street. When we got there, everyone started coming out of the building (there was a huge party or something) and standing around. Chris was there, apparently not walking his friends home (there were still with him, wrong direction from their place). We called out to him and chilled for a bit. Chris ate Carol's wings. I drank my gross protein shake. i'm detirmined to finish it.
These two guys were fighting and everyone started to run towards the fight. We did too, hey, we were curious. But, by the time we got in sight, the cops had broken it up. bummer. I asked Chris what happened, he said there was a fight. i noted at that point to Carol, that Chris was a good networker and that if you needed any info, talk to him. He knows everything.
Chris then left and went somewhere. Thats when it happened. We were standing on the side walk, talking about the cops and stuff. We weren't really looking into the street, but at eachother. Someone was being really loud, yelling and everything. someone then ran past us and jumped on the ledge we were standing beside, he was clutching his gut, with an intense look of pain on his face. he lifted his shirt up and looked at himself he was facing slightly away from us so we couldn't see anything. before we could react, he ran off towards the entrance to the U.
"What was that?" I asked.
"Was he stabbed?" Carol asked, shocked.
"OMG!" I yelled, but quietly. I was kind of scared and did not want to attract attention to myself. I suspect Carol didn't want to either.
We couldn't see the guy anymore so we both turned back to the street, to see who had done it.
"Is that blood?" Carol asked.
"Where?" i replied, I had no clue, i was looking on the ground on the street but didn't see anything.
"The guy with the blue shirt." Carol said. (He was one of the people who were fighting before, i realized at that moment. I saw him screaming bloody murder at this other guy before the first fight had happened). It was true, the guy in the blue shirt (bright blue, he looked cold. It was a t-shirt. Carol was wearing two jackets) had blood on the back of his shirt, in the center. I don't know how it got there.
A police officer questioned the guy. It was a bit far away and I couldn't hear much. The guy in blue was with his gfriend or something. The officer asked him for his student id (I think), but he said he didn't have it.
so, after that, Carol and I turned to eachother to acess what had just happened.
"What just happened?" I asked.
"I don't know." Carol said slowly. We discussed if for a few minutes, we walked out of the way, of course. We didn't want to get into the middle of it.
Chris ran up to us then, yelling (quietly) for us to get out of here. he started to push us back around the U. "Whaever you do. don't go that way" Chris said to us, gesturing towards the mob of people. He turned around and walked back, we haven't seen him since (he's ok, don't worry). We walked around the U, talking about what had just happened. I was all like, "i'm so blogging about this" and Carol was all like "i am so calling my parents." i did, she didn't, we decided against it, it would be on the news anyways. But she did text everyone, word gets around fast. We were then back on the main road that the U was on and watched a police car and an ambulence roll by. I decided then that I was going to call Chris and see if he was ok. i pulled out my phone and he was calling me. Fancy that. he hung up before I could get to it so I called him back.
He was making sure I was Ok. I was, dont worry. I filled him in on what happened, and he told me that there might have been two. I'm not sure, i dont remember.
That's about it. the two of us are back home now, safe and sound. don't worry about us.ttyl

Dan

Mood: Scared - only a little, but excited at the same time, and nervous, i hope that guy is alright
Music: The sound of gossip - it's all over our hallway now
Location: guess

Post #7 - $2.86

$2.86 People! That's how much money I've made so far on this blog. I didn't think that was for real. The blogger people said I would earn money for the ads on my blog, but I never thought I actually would! How exciting is this people! Come on! Now, all I need to do is get that big check. Hopefully it will have a little more money in it. Please please please.
So, about my day, I bet that's all your reading this for, right? my daily life analysis. Yea right. OK then. I started up by waking up to Sean Kingston's "Fire Burning" at eleven thirty. Someone called my roomie to talk about their night or something, I'm not sure, I was trying to wake up and couldn't tell. don't worry, I'm not mad at him for having his phone on the loudest setting. I was thankful, strange as it may seem. I needed to get up and did not want to spend the whole day in bed. That would have been bad, there was another shift I had been planning to puck up at Putnam i needed to get ready for.
So, i got up, went on facebook and harvested some crops. I LOVE FARMVILLE. it's kind of addicting. Sad, really. I'm not sure how much longer I'm going to be playing it though. Oh well.
so, I went to breckfast w/ Carol. all she has were some grapes and a coffee. I had a glazed donut (hey, it was the weekend), and a wrap. We chilled for a bit (like always)and exchanged phones. We checked our mail, none for either of us :(
I then went home and Blogged my heart out, as per Carol's advice (thanks so much).
After that, I went to work. I did the dishroom and valedine. I asked Lucy, my boss for the day, what the word valedine meant. She didn't know and neither did I. that's why i asked. So later, I was checking someone in, and instead of handing me her Husky1Card, she gave me her Mastercard.
Diologue:

I grabbed the card from her outstretched hand. I turned to slide it throught the machine, noticing it wasn't her Husky1Card. I froze. "Ummmm...." I said, unsure of how to address her careless mistake.
She blushed, grabbing the card from my hand. "Oh how stupid of me." She said, flabergaster. "I always do that. I'm so stupid."
Me: ...

That's how it went down. FYI.
After we were done cleaning up, Lucy was all in our faces like: "Sign up for extra shift! There are a lot that need filling. Go! Go! Go!"
No, JK, she was very nice about it. Very nice. Don't worry Lucy.
So after work, I went over to my friend Matthew's place and we watched "Anchorman." It was really funny, I liked it. Except for the part where his dog was drop-kicked off a tall bridge (it's OK though, the dog lives, you see him three months later) oops. Just spoiled it for you. Sorry.
So now I'm back at home, with Carol. Again. This always seems to happen, we hand out a lot. It's fun, you should try it someday. Chris is in my room, watching Asylum with some friends, so I'm over here, in Carol's place. We're downloading something onto my computer, i'm excited.
that's it for now, i'll see you all tomorrow, busy day tomorrow. i'll tell you all about it, don't worry.

Dan

Mood: Happy - I'm making some money on my Blog, and I made 5hrs worth of money at work today
Music: Elliot Smith - Not bad, not bad. Carol's music. i like it
Location: Carol's pad -Again.

Post #4 - Study! Study! Study!

Hey everyone! It's me again, of course.
I'm currently at a friend's house. I'm watching Fringe right now. It is the best show it the whole world. I'm totally obsessed with it. I listen to a Fringe podcast and everything. It's a but loud in the house right now, they're cleaning and fabreezing every songle room. it's really loud so i don't really know whats going on. I'm probably going to end up watching it on Hulu tomorrow. There's something implanted in this guys brain, it's kind of creepy, but cool at the same time.
So, I know this post is supposed to be about studying for my Bio exam tomorrow, but my friend (Moe) and I are going to start studying after Fringe is over.
B.T.W Moe is my best friend. And no, i'm not saying it because she was the first one to ever read my blog (first and only at this point i think), but because she really is. We're always hanging out together. tomorrow, we're going down to the campus core to to tye-dye some UCTV T-shirts. I'm hoping to also tye-dye my Bio lab coat. I think that would be really cool.
After that, I'm going to a party at my friend Gordon's house. It should be fun, but I've never been to a college party before (well, tecnically I have, but it was for only ten minutes, so it didn't really count. so I think). I''m looking forward to it.

OOH! This guy just did this thing to this woman so that she started to see this cook fry hands and arms instead of burgers. She just took a carving knife and raised it high to kill him with a malicious look in her eyes and.....
comercial.

AWWW.......
Bummer.

Great. I don't think we're going to get any stuying done. There's still a lot of yelling going on. John (one of the roommates) is putting up all these posters all over the house in preparation of their party tomorrow (don't ask me, I have no idea why).

Yea, I'm totally not going to be able to study at this rate...

We're moving furnature now. It's really funny yet random. Ex.  "VICTORY", yells Gordon, running back inside. "The snow's gone!"
I laughed.
Well, Fringe is over now, I watched all of five minutes.
That's it for now, I'll be back though

dan

Mood: Anxious - Bio test tomorrow, need to study, but I don't know when I'm going to be able to.
Music: T.V - it's still on, even though no one is watching it at all. The news is on.
Location: Gordon's pad - gordon has the best place ever. It's a freaking apartment!

Post #3 - Work, Work, Work!

Hey, Everyone. Happy Thursday.

I'm so happy, I had such a good night sleep last night. I actually managed to get out of bed really easily this morning. I had to go to work, so i wasn't happy about that. :( But work wasn't so bad, there weren't that many people in the dining hall so i got to chill a lot. I got back to my dorm room and only then remembered that I had a meeting with my advisor. I had five minutes to grab my stuff, change and run to whereeverI needed to be. Which btw, I had no clue where it was. I went to the wrong room and had to ask this really nice man for directions (we had to google it). I finally found it and we did a lot of stuff. I've been thingking about declaring a minor, so who knows???
I'm back at home right now, resting before I start my homework. I still need to do my bio prelab and my bio lab report. Grrr!!!! They'll take some time, and I still need to eat. Mmmm, I wonder what's for lunch!? SO, after I've done that, I'll go do more work, then head off to my Bio Lab. I hate my Bio Labs. They're so hard, long ans stupid. I really do not want to go, but I have to. Grrrr!!!! After that, my friend and I are going to Dr. Abbott's lecture for the Exam we have on Friday. I need to start studying for that, this lab stuff is taking up all of my time. After that? I really dont know. I want to go to the Lip Sinc tonight, but I also want to go to dance, but I also need to study. I'll have to see what happens. i'll tell you later, once I've done it. Oh Well.

Thats about it for now, I'm going to head out,
see ya!

dan

Mood: Tired - I know I got a good night sleep, but all this stuff has made me exausted.
Music: Nothing - Again, sorry. I usually am listening to something, i'm not really this boring.
Location: My dorm - once again, messy as always
Thoughts: nothing - I'm too much in bio mode to be thinking about anything.

Post #2 - A Little bit about me

So, in case any of you were wondering, this is a little bit about me:
I was born in Lahr Germany on April 1st 1991. I later moved to Cold Lake, Alberta, Canada. I lived there for three years until the end of kindergarden. The town is really small and very far up north, so far in fact that it snowed on my dad's birthday (August 28th). when I was in Grade 1, we moved down to Beaconsfeild, Quebec, Canada.
I lived there until th eend of Grade 8, where I moved to Simsbury, CT. I lived there all throughout high school. Now I am currently living in Storrs, CT at UCONN. There, I am an Environmental Science major, but i'm thinking about double majoring in Environmental Engineering as well. That would be really cool. What do I want to do with my life? I would love to work with alternative energy, I think that is so utterly cool! Solar, wind, biofuel, nucleur, geothermal. Anything. I go ape over it. OOK! OOK! OOK! That was my ape noise.

Shoot, I promised myself I wouldn't do that!. Darn.

So in my spare time, I enjoy reading, writing stories, photography and ballroom dancing. Ballroom is my life, I practice so much and I have some really amazing partners! That's all I can think of that's important at this point, so I'll do more later.

See you all soon.

dan Duggan

Mood: Tired - fell asleep at 2:30 last night, because I was doing a lab report for Biology.
Music: Nothing - I'm too lazt to put my iPod in, or turn on iTunes, I'm listening to people yelling outside though....
Location: My Dorm - I have the room to myself at this moment b/c my roomie is M.I.A Oh Well!